So, we have almost hit the 1 month mark of my son Logan being born and man has it been a whirlwind with so many different experiences. Between my daughters adjusting to not having much of my attention (Super hard on me especially!), recovering from a c-section, figuring out when to sleep, figuring out our finances because adding a third child is expensive…who knew right!;), and just plan finding time to breath, I found myself asking the question…. can I have it all or even do it all?!
Let’s talk c-section for a second. For those that don’t know or may have forgotten this is major surgery! Duh, right! But, seriously it’s simpler when it’s the first child because you can rest when the baby rests, but having two other kids already is no joke and then you add some baby blues in there ( yes, baby blues are real and serious, and should be talked about!), and it can be a very stressful situation. Luckily, I have an amazing support system who helped me with everything and continue to do so, but it is still a work in progress.
Progress… what a word. Now for the tough part of trying to explain what progress means to my almost 3 year old and 5 year old. They know mommy as someone who is on the go and doing everything. Then all of a sudden she is out of commission. Plus, has to give all her attention to their new baby brother. Brutal honesty being inserted here… I miss my girls and being able to go on our adventures together. Even though they are right here with me, there is just the disconnect of being able to play and be my normal self. Each day has brought new challenges with them, such as trying to be creative, so they feel my attention even though it can be very minimal at times. Everyday is getting better and we continue to grow our bond as a party of five!
Now, being a party of five is not cheap!! Especially when you don’t have a job next school for first time in 10 years! I know in a previous blog, I have talked about being a SAHM for the first time and how it can be a little overwhelming with nerves. But, I find myself thinking, I should bring in some type of income, even if it is to take some stress off my husband. Now, let me be clear, my husband is the type of man that will always take care of us, but it’s hard not to feel like I have put added pressure on him. It’s not easy to find something either because you have to think about daycare cost for 3 kids and would I make enough to make it worth it. Plus, it’s finding care and any mom knows that is a difficult task. So, for now I keep brainstorming ideas of what I can do to help and try to take some deep breaths knowing everything will work itself out!
Just Breath…. Ha! I’m lucky if I get to brush my teeth or eat food!! Lol! It’s none stop with 3 kids! But today as I wrote all these thoughts down while I listened to Jason Mraz’s song “Have it all”, I sipped my cup of coffee in one hand, held my new baby in other, all while watching my girls color outside and thought maybe having it all is overrated. What would it truly be like to have it all? Would it be boring being able to not have to earn anything? I feel like it would take the anticipation or excitement out of the little things in life. I do think in my own little way I might not have it all, but I do have all I need between family, friends, food on table, a roof over our heads, and lots of love! Everyday is a different adventure in my world, which I feel makes life pretty exciting!
This is what having all you need looks like!
What does having all you need look like for you?